In the quiet moments I hear Spirit call:

Trust, and follow.  Let your seeds scatter wide and far. Let me root them deep and shallow.  Let them grow as you are getting out of the way.  All you need do is let go, allow me to work, have faith and love the possibilities.  Notice the sacred light of life within all things reflected in and through you, reflected in and through all things.  Love this and it is enough.  Love this first within you, then within others.  These are the seeds of compassion. Namaste.

Yesterday my daughter turned thirteen with beauty, grace, humor and a small amount of reluctance.  I was filled with wonder and awe as this girl I so love greeted her milestone perfectly.  I also rushed about, a bit overwhelmed by preparations for the family gathering.    

Today on the way to church she asked what the bumper sticker Namaste meant.  I shared with her the first explanation given to me.  It is a greeting that means I see the divine Spirit in you and honor that, just as you see and honor the divine Spirit in me.  And when we both come to greet each other from that place, we honor the divine Spirit in all. 

I don’t think she actually heard the whole explanation. She probably only wanted to know it was a greeting.  But it was an important moment.  Her asking, my sharing brought a moment of stillness into another busy morning. 

Namaste.  My heart paused as I remembered again this sacred journey we travel together.  When I see myself, my family, and the world through the lens of Namaste, these are the moments when I embrace the deepest goodness in us all. 

It is easy to get distracted by life’s details. Sometimes I forget Spirit is within, around and with us always.  I forget we are all endless expressions of this same Spirit. I become cranky about interruptions in my plans and don’t notice the light of each one’s goodness.  It remains in front of me as I look past my daughter’s eyes, my son’s laughter or a friend’s compassion.

Namaste.  Within the breath of one word is a power to bring us back again. Each time it is spoken we are met within timelessness and compassion.  Honoring Spirit within as we come together honors the eternal part of us all.  That in itself beckons us to step out of distraction and be fully present. 

But also, there is forgiveness, a deep compassion held within the heart of Namaste.  In one instant we see and are seen by another. We hold a space where our humanity, struggles and Spirit are joined.  A seed of compassion and perhaps forgiveness is planted for ourselves and for them.  As we reach for this seed we embrace the possibilities of this one word, Namaste.  Here we can change how we see ourselves and each other.  We can change how we are with ourselves and each other.   

Namaste.

It is in the moment of stillness where we can choose to perceive all the rest.

We are practicing a push hands exercise.  My Tai Chi instructor asks us to stay connected, to first push into our partners arm as they roll back and give way and then give way as they push into us.  The entire time, our arms are connected, our stories connected.  We practice and I notice the energy shifting as I shift from pushing to receiving the push of my partner. 

He asks us to shift our perception. Instead of pushing, we are to simply follow our partner as they pull back, stay with them as they retreat. The movement is the same, the connection is the same, but our story shifts with our perception.  So does the energy.

I am reminded of the dance I am doing with my son.  It feels as if he is pulling me along, baiting for reactions that I, more frequently than I am proud of, give him.  He pulls I follow.  But as I shift my perception, I wonder if in fact he is only rolling back in response to where I am pushing? Or maybe he feels me pulling back and is attempting to stay connected in the retreat? 

More important than the answers to the questions are the possibilities that unfold as I consider an alternate perception, a different story.  I find a place where I have the power to not just react, but to guide and influence the dance.  Of course I’ve been influencing this dance all along, but with a shift in perception, my intention changes and so does the energy. 

For me, opening to these shifts in perception requires moments of stillness.  I must create times where I sweep out the corners of my mind, clear it’s many rooms of concerns and duties in order to find a stillness.  Sometimes, my body is still, sitting at the lake, meditating at home.  Sometimes, I am walking, practicing Tai Chi, moving my body in order that my mind may be cleared and opened.  The stillness comes when I can breathe deeply into that place, that emptiness and welcome whatever newness may come.  In those moments of stillness I find that I am safe, loved, surrounded, and guided. 

And each time I laugh at my own surprise when remembering again.  It has not changed, this ancient story.  It is only that what is forgotten in the rush or fear or details of living a life is suddenly brought into sharp, beautiful focus as we open our selves to perceiving it from a different side.

Seeds seem to sleep

through winter’s cold, quiet blankets

Trees seem to wait nakedly

through winter’s raging storms

I seem to turn away

through winter’s darkened skies

But truly,

we are all journeying to gather this winter

journeying to pray with our Great Mother this winter

reaching, nestling, sinking down

into Her fertile soils, her pulsing womb

to be protected, nourished, adored

receiving memories of who we will be

creating gentle streams of intentions from here to there

Truly,

we are journeying in our stillness this winter

finding the secret, hidden possibilities borne within us

listening to the quiet beating of our soul

remembering the truth of our dreams

resting in being surrounded

preparing for the great creation about to begin

For in the Spring

the seed will awaken to the possibility

of becoming a cheerful cosmos

the tree will burst forth in the creation

of canopies of living green joy

I will turn again

painting promises of possibilities with youth-filled abandon

across your sky

 Jennifer Cedar 

3/20/09

When I was a small child

I listened quietly, insistently, incessantly for an answer

“who am I, what is this Being I am?”

Whispers on gentle warm winds

through my naptime windows

“You are mine.  We are all.

It is enough and it is good.”

And from this I expanded,

I am sacred and powerful.

I am the dust and the breath and the soul of God.

There is a purpose that I shall live.

I only have to dare to live it fully,

but always inseparable from the Holy.

Now within the center of my Being,

I whisper, gently,

Listening in stillness

“what is the nature of my Being?  what are the gifts and seeds I bring to plant?”

Answers swell up from without and within

called from the deep and expansive places my Being dwells

“You are Peace and Compassion.  You bring seeds of Faith and Courage and Love.

You grow these seeds with listening, laughter, creativity, gratitude and joy. 

Those who come near are touched by the quiet strength of your journey.”

When I am still, and I find each breath

I feel my self soaring with the freedom of being home.

And when I am dancing, I glimpse the reflection of my innermost Being:

sparkling eyes of joy.

Jennifer Cedar 10/9/09

But what you Love.

There lives the Joy.

May our hearts and eyes be filled with gratitude for

the Blessings  that surround us always.

 Later on in the week my Tai Chi teacher instructed us to let all the goodness surrounding and supporting all around pour into us as we breathe in, let it pour out to the world as we breathe out.  This became my meditation for replenishing this week. 

There is a balance between nurturing and doing.  Without nurturing, doing becomes exhaustive and hollow.  Without doing, nurturing sits still on it’s own, waiting to be shared.

 When I remember, I have energy, creativity, and a vitality of Spirit to share back within each moment.  All the things I choose to do in the day I can greet with welcoming, wonder, and the openness of possibility.  Even the challenges and the painful things become moments for breathing in Spirit and breathing Spirit back out within each decision, within each action.

When I forget, I quickly become depleted and every new request, need, or task leaves me feeling squashed by impossible amounts of challenges.  I long to find an escape, even just for a few hours.

And then I breathe in deeply.  I feel the goodness that surrounds and supports me always filling me from my toes, up to my knees, and on and on.  I keep breathing until my eyeballs are swimming in it and I can see clearly again.

Here is when the magic begins.  Here is when the things that just a moment ago seemed too difficult for anyone, suddenly start sparkling with new ideas, novel approaches, and small steps. I can see a difference almost immediately in the outcomes as well.  A creative idea, a reframing, a new haircut for my son and things change.  Challenges that my son has been struggling with for a week (and I for a way to make it change), suddenly start to shift.  I am relieved and excited about the new possibilities he’s discovering. 

I am reassured by the constant availability of Spirit to replenish and nurture me.  I am encouraged to keep remembering: replenishing yourself as part of each day, each moment creates a path for those moments to take our breath away in wonder and joy.